Life goes on...

Over the last few weeks, I have tried. I start to write a post but am unable to proceed beyond a few lines. An eventful month, to say the least.

It was not my dad and it shouldn't have hurt, but I had to go through it yet another time. My father in law passed away 3 weeks back and we have all changed. It was expected, yet unexpected. We knew he was counting his days, but hoped he would be around to see the kids one last time. But in a sense, there was closure for his kids, which I will never be able to claim. Every death, near or far, takes me back to those black days when I lost mine. A death at 80 is not as horrible as one at half that age. A loss is a loss, but there is also the feeling that a life was well-lived. It was time and the rest of the family took heart in the fact that we did our best for him.

The tough part is for the m-i-l, to be uprooted from the life she knew for the last 50 plus years. Granted, there are no responsibilites piled on her shoulders, but the move is going to be tough on her.

So, I have come out of that haze. Preparing to visit at a tense time adds to the stress of temporary single parenthood. But, beneath all that, I am getting a break for 3 weeks, which by then, I will fully deserve.

There is a new respect for my mom, and the other moms who went through this at a much younger age, bearing the responsibilities on their shoulders, taking care of home, hearth and business. There is a new appreciation for the paper chores that my hubby takes care of, that I have been trying to handle. There is a new confidence that I can take care of everything if I have to. Although there is definitely no inclination for that.